Is your partner/spouse excessively possessive?
Does he/she constantly call for no apparent reason?
Does he/she drop by/come home frequently and unexpectedly at
various times to see what you are doing?
Or if someone else is
with you?
Does he/she check the mileage/gas level on your car after you've
been somewhere?
Does he/she control all the money, making you accountable for
every penny you spend and make you provide
receipts even if
you bring home your own pay check?
Does he/she get angry when finding you speaking to the
opposite sex?
Does he/she accuse you of being unfaithful and having sexual
relations with someone else?


Does He/She Make You Feel
ISOLATED?
Is your free time limited to his/her interests only?
Are you being prevented from having a career because of his/her fears
you might meet someone else or make new
friends?
Are you made to feel you must get approval to visit family, friends or the
local grocery store?
Does he/she make it impossible for you to enjoy outside friendships by
constantly picking on your friends or
making fun of them saying things
such as, they are bad influences on you,
they're no good for nothing?
Does he/she punish you for having them or pick at you until you stop
the relationship?
Does he accuse people who are your supporters of "Causing Trouble"
or trying to turn you against him/her?
Do he/she keep you prisoner in your own home?
Does he/she refuse to socialize with you or take you any where?
Does he/she deny you access to the car?


Does Your Partner/Spouse Have
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS?
Does
he/she expect you to be "Perfect" parent, friend, lover, and mate?
Are
you expected to be Super Man/Wonder Woman and meet his/her
every Want, Need or Command?
Are
you sometimes punished for not behaving or obeying?
Do
you do more than a fair share or all of the work, paid or unpaid?
Is
there a big scene if you express an opinion that differs from his/hers?


Does Your Partner/Spouse
VERBALLY/EMOTIONALLY ABUSE
You?
Does
he/she ridicule or insult your most valued beliefs, religion, race,
heritage, or class?
Does
he/she threaten to leave you?
Does
he/she threaten to harm/kill themselves if you leave them?
Does
he/she totally ignore your feelings?
Does
he/she constantly criticize you?
Does
he/she say blatantly cruel, hurtful things just to upset you?
Does
he/she continually degrade or curse at you in public as well
as private?
Are
you often the "butt" of humiliating jokes?
Does
he/she humiliate you often?
Does
he/she threaten to kidnap the children or have them taken away
if you leave?
Is
he/she manipulative with lies and contradictions?
Does
he/she keep you on an emotional roller coaster?
Does
he/she constantly find fault with every thing you do and how
you do it?
Does
he/she tell the children what a bad parent you are?
Does
he/she tell you that you are too fat or too thin?
Does
he/she always find fault and bring you down when your
feeling good or disallows you any success?


Does He/She Make
VIOLENT THREATS?
Do
you fear partner/spouse?
Does
he/she make threatening statements that involve ways of
disfiguring you?
Such
as: Breaking arms, legs, neck? Or Threatened you with
scolding water or oil?
Has
he/she ever threatened you with a weapon, gun, knife, chain, etc.?
Has
he or she ever threatened to kill you?
Does
he/she threaten to kill themselves in front of you?
Does
he/she force you to perform sexual acts or have intercourse
against your will.


Does Your Partner Experience
Sudden
MOOD SWINGS?
Does
he/she have the "Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde" personality?
Does
he/she quickly change from being loving and caring to completely
Outraged in a
matter of minutes?
Does
he/she become Explosively Violent over what appears to be a
minor conflict,
problem or misunderstanding?
Is
he/she Hypersensitive?
Does
he/she try to make things you say to them appear to be insulting,
hurtful or
mean, claiming their feelings are hurt when in reality they are
really angry?
Does
he/she blame you for all their outbursts and the sudden change in
moods?
Does
he/she take it out on your children too?
Does
he/she blame others for their problems? Saying someone is
always out to get
them or is doing them wrong?


Is Your Partner/Spouse
PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE?
Does
your partner/spouse push, shove, hit, slap, punch, kick or choke
you?
Does
he/she restrain you from leaving?
Does
he/she throw objects at you?
Does
he/she break or destroy your personal effects, belongings or
furniture?
Does
he/she lock you out of the house?
Does
he/she refuse to help you when you are sick or injured?
Does
he/she subject you to reckless driving?
Does
he/she abandon you in dangerous places?
Does
he/she abuse your children or pets?


Does Your Partner/Spouse
SEXUALLY ABUSE
You?
Are
you harassed about imaginary affairs?
Does
your partner/spouse assume you will sleep with anyone and
everyone that comes
along?
Does
your partner/spouse insist on unwanted or uncomfortable
touching?
Does
your partner/spouse withhold sex and affection from you?
Are
you forced to undress when you don't want to?
Does
your partner/spouse publicly show sexual interest in other people?
Does
your partner/spouse have affairs after agreeing to a monogamous
relationship?
Are
you forced to perform unwanted sexual acts?
Does
your partner/spouse force sex upon you for the purpose of hurting
you with
objects or weapons?
Does
your partner/spouse commit sadistic sexual acts?
Are
you forced to listen to details about affairs they've had behind your
back?
Does
your partner/spouse rape or coerce you sexually?
Does
your partner/spouse use anger or manipulation to obtain
compliance while
showing little or no concern for your desire not to have
sex?


Are You Forced Into
FINANCIAL DEPENDENCY?
Does
your partner/spouse keep you and your family in debt?
Does
your partner/spouse keep you from working?
If
you are employed does your partner/spouse cause trouble to try and
get you
fired?
Does
your partner/spouse keep you underemployed or force you to
work a job you
dislike?
Does
your partner/spouse control all the money or resources, keeping
everything in
their names?
Does
your partner/spouse make you ask for money?


Please compare your experiences
with the above list of behavior.
If these strategies are part of your life,
you are a victim of domestic violence.
PLEASE take the time to read below.
IF YOU
HAVE ANSWERED "YES"
TO:
|
1 or 2 of
the questions: |
Take
notice, strive together to improve these troubled areas in your
relationship now to try and prevent future problems. |
|
3 to 4 of
the questions: |
Seriously
examine your relationship, seek qualified counseling. |
|
5 to 6 of
the questions: |
Relationship is Breaking Down, abuse is the issue. Marriage counseling may
not be appropriate until FEAR ceases. |
|
7 or more
of the questions: |
CRISIS INTERVENTION IS NEEDED! Seek
individual help from a counselor familiar with abuse issues. Joint therapy
is strongly recommended. |